In the book series know as A Song of Fire and Ice there is an interesting theme in play. The books revolve around the goings on in "the seven kingdoms". The kingdoms are surrounded by a wall around the northern boarder. Little is know about what currently resides beyond the wall, even by those who guard it, except for stories passed down through generations. Throughout the series people of the seven kingdoms are battling for power. Everyone wants to be king an everyone wants to bring down someone else. While this a most entertaining element to the book another equally important aspect of the book is what is occurring beyond the wall. The men who are appointed to guard the wall discover more each and every day that they should be concerned with and fear what is beyond the wall above all else.

So what did I take from all of this. I think it is an important lesson that we need not concern ourselves with little things so often. It is difficult to see outside of our own petty concerns and issues, but the outcome of training your brains to let go of the little things would mean a happier you as well as a happier world. The more and more we force ourselves to think on a larger scale the more and more we can realize things that are not big deals. I attempted to implement this thought process for the first time today and while I have to admit it is not an easy task. Trying to ignore the tendencies of one of my coworkers who tends to irk me every so often was my first hurdle and with all honesty I failed, but I won't be discouraged and I intend to continue on with this idea. The difficult part was deciding where I plan to draw my line. What is important and worth my concern?

I do first and foremost intend to rid myself of anger and worry over smaller everyday tasks, this would include things like disagreements at work and home and though these smaller things will not be limited to this list it is intended to give a reference size to the issues I am writing about. My second objective is to cease arguments of any political issue. I can hold a position and welcome the thoughts of others, but all in all life is too short to argue opposing political view points. In the end I hope to remember that every person simply wants to live happily and that happiness means something different for everyone. I cannot live to change what happiness is for others. Since this all is an easily forgotten new initiative I decided to use something special to remind me of my goal. I fashioned myself a bracelet with googly eyes glued to it to always remind me that not everything is a big deal. For occasions where I am unable to wear a bracelet with silly eyes on it I have randomly glued these eyes to many things of mine such as the corner of my rearview mirror, the edge of my water bottle, and even the corner of my computer. My hope is that in doing all of this I might be able to find what I interpret to be truly important or in a reference to my analogy "what is beyond the wall?".While I don't know what that is at the moment I think that we are all intelligent enough to know that it is bigger than the little things we all get hung up on day to day.

What little I understand of Death

I walked in my room today to a familiar site. My 22nd birthday was this past Sunday and today, only two days later I had a birthday card waiting for me on the desk in my room. I recognized my name and address centered on the envelope and out of the corner of my eye I did catch my maternal family's name, Binstock, but then i realized something missing. There in the corner of the pink envelope was only written Joe. I don't say this to belittle my grandfather in anyway, it is only because of how accustomed I had become to seeing my grandmother's name written next to it all of these years. Either Joe & Ida or Ida & Joe. Inside there was a card that looked as though it was for someone much younger than myself. On the front there was the image of a unicorn with butterflies surrounding it. It was a card that I would expect a grandfather to give his granddaughter at any age while a grandmother sees her as a young woman a grandfather will always see her as a little girl. There was a thoughtful note written inside only in a noticeably different script than that of my grandmothers which I was so used to.

I tried forcing my mind to process all of the changes and why everything was so unfamiliar in so many ways. I saw a picture of me with my grandparents laying on my desk that I had moved to a better view not so long ago. I saw my grandmother in the picture and had to remind myself that she was not that person anymore. I had to remind myself that her body was somewhere underground right now. I myself was surprised by this morbid image I painted of death. It seems like an obvious thought but it had never crossed my mind before. I feel as though I am a little old to still be misunderstanding death. I always knew that once someone is dead they aren't around anymore, and though this is a step further then most children have the capacity to understand I felt for a moment that it wasn't the whole truth. The truth was that my grandmother is still around and it is painful to know that exact plot where she is and where she is going to be forever. Everything is much more final when you think of it in terms of never changing.

I'm stopping myself now from thinking this way, only because I know my grandmother would not have approved of it, and being gone for only a little over a month now I know she would have wanted to think of her in a far more mystical sense. I don't think it would be fair to my grandmother or my grandfather for that matter. The grandfather who even after losing his wife made the time to send me a card so adorable that it made me laugh while crying. All in all I do think respecting the wishes of those you care and cared about is what is most important at a time like this.

Memories of The Solar Trash Compactor

Why would they ruin it? I can't figure it out. For those of you who have yet to witness for yourselves what I am talking about I will elaborate. A little less than 1 year ago a renovation of a green sitting area behind Edwards on the corner of Calhoun was completed. I was extremely excited when it was completed. There is a daycare center in the corner building of Edwards that directly overlook the outdoor sitting area. It was a positive clean addition to the community not to mention it relayed a positive message to the small children exposed to it every day. I myself feel children, if raised on certain images and aspects of environmental norms, will grow up to expect those things as normal and try to reproduce it. Say for instance if a child grows up in a bad neighborhood and is constantly exposed to litter that they just grow up thinking it is normal to see trash on the ground and they themselves may even litter someday. One of the crowning structures in this outdoor area was the solar powered trash compactor. What an absolutely fabulous idea! I am not saying that we need these around every corner; however if you are expecting an area to be a high traffic area and in anticipation of people in the area producing a lot of trash then yes I do think it is a great idea. I stopped and carefully studied the object the first time I wandered passed it and as I walked on I left with a smile on my face with the thought that "Well, this is a step in the right direction".

Then I walked through the green once again only about 3 days ago only to find the solar powered trash compactor destroyed. Inspecting the area more closely it looks as though the compactor was blown up. I'm not sure what exactly happened here but it is hurtful to think that someone just mindlessly destroyed this extraordinary piece of public property. I really want people to reflect on that word "public". That trash compactor was for everyone just like the green around it, the benches, parks, and sidewalks. When people just mindlessly deface, destroy litter and abuse these public pieces they are taking away from other people. They are hurting themselves too. Something tells me that trash compactor wasn't cheap and that was the tax money of everyone that went into paying for it including whomever destroyed it.

We should all try to think in the terms that when you are a part of a community whether that be the community you live in, work in, or frequent in anyway you are a part of a family. I had complained to my Dad once when I was younger about always having to do chores daily and never receiving an allowance like my peers. My dad told me that when you are a part of a family you share in the responsibilities and you share the rewards. The responsibilities were things like doing the dishes, the bathroom, and dusting. The rewards were things like when we go on vacation together, too the movies, or even out for dinner. If we take care of our community there will develop a natural instinct not to ruin it and our reward will be a nicer place to be.

A Thin Line Perhaps?

Today if you bring your attention to Mews Gardens, located directly behind the Subway on west campus you may find it looks slightly different then before. A common eating and lounging area it has a wide array of outdoor seating options. As I glanced out the window of Steger Student life center today I let out a slight chuckle and pointed out to my friend a desk chair, that was most likely taken from the student life center, was sitting high on top a decorative ionic column that supports nothing other than the sky, and sits in the center of the gardens. Good for a laugh I simply pushed the experience to the back of my mind and continued on with my day. A few hours later I passed the gardens again only this time from the outside. I saw the chair still in place and thought to myself I should take it down before it rains. I stood beneath the column and realized that I must be at least a foot shorter than the person who put the chair there in the first place. Accepting that I would be unable to retrieve the chair I informed a maintenance person of the chair and continued on with my day.

I realize that the chair being in an unsuspected spot was humorous. As I mentioned before it did make me laugh; however the action was overall thoughtless and inconsiderate. It is a perfectly good chair that will be ruined if our predicted rain happens to appear so lets add wasteful to the list. I got to wondering how often all of these things result from humor.

This past weekend was the first organized event of the litter cleanup program my friend and I created known as Clean Clifton. To gather up involvement, I overcame my anxiety and forced myself to speak to three classes about the event. Overall I spoke to over 100 students about the event. My friend also took it upon himself to present the idea to several people. Though in the end our attendance totaled only 4 people. While we were digging for trash in the wooded area we came upon several gems. My personal favorite was a fire extinguisher I pulled out of the rubble that expired in April of 1997. Alan found an old bed frame to which we were able to see but could not retrieve the mattress. It was astounding that even with our 9 bags filled with litter that was left on the ground simply due to carelessness and thoughtlessness that we found all of these extremely large items that obviously did not belong in the woods. I wondered if any of those items started out in the name of humor. Someone thought it would be funny if they took a fire extinguisher out into the woods just to see how it works, or someone decided they would take an old bed into the woods only to lounge in it for a couple of hours and then abandon it.

By the end of the day we made a monument of some of the oversized trash placed closer to the road instead of deep in the wooded areas in hopes that maybe the appropriate government workers would see it and make sure of its proper disposal. After these thoughts I simply want to be sure that the next time I feel that natural craving to spread humor that it won't lead to my thoughtlessness in the future.

Clean up time

I can't really figure out why people leave their trash and unused products. I have to say I think that if you are going to drink pick up your trash folks!

How To Be Good

I try to try harder. Working in a supermarket there is so much room for product loss. I have seen boxes of perfectly acceptable product being tossed into the compost heap. On the one hand it is a conflict of interest for employees to consume these products (which I understand). Since where I work is considered a premium grocer and people are paying premium price for premium products we don't put out things like manager specials(sad but true). Lastly once a product hits the end of the printed shelf life, no matter the product's actual condition, it must be taken off the shelf. We have entered the age where society depends so whole heartedly on those printed dates that we do not trust our own noses and good sense. When is the last time anyone has performed the old floating in water test on their old eggs. Working in the meat department I have grown to realize what is good and what is not. I already know that the kosher chickens will only make it just to their expiration dates but that tray of ribeye that has started to brown will taste exactly the same as the new tray that I cut up. Yet still our wandering managers pass buy and pull things that they are certain will not entice the customers. The managers are right. No customer will buy a brown piece of meat when they are certain that they can obtain a fresher one. Constantly am I reminded of the overwhelming, meaningless high standards of the upper class. As the request for the piece closest to the front of the case is one I hear throughout the day(it all gets cut from the same cow). I notice the shuffled packages of boneless skinless chicken breasts from customers searching for the latest expiration date (most of the time it all comes from the same box and they all have an expiration date beyond what the computer prints on the label).I have even given in to customers asking me to go to the back and cut for them whatever I have in the cooler that is freshest(it is DEAD. I really can't get it any fresher than that).

With all of these high demands there are always pieces of perfectly good product that get left behind. I want to make sure that some of these products don't go to waste. I started this effort while I was working yesterday morning. When a store decides to carry product free of preservatives (I do approve), but still carries over 10 different types of bacon there are a certain number of customers that's necessary to be sure that nothing goes to waste. Still I was left yesterday with a case of turkey bacon that was going to reach the expiration date within a week. I threw several packages in the oven and asked bakery and produce to contribute product that they would be forced to throw out because of expiration dates or spots and bruises. They both confessed that they were carrying a little of each and with an "old" loaf of bread, a couple of beaten up tomatoes, and a less than desirable head of lettuce. I pushed out a special early morning demo for customers. It ate into my time a little but less food went to waste and in the end we sold a few packages of our about to expire turkey bacon.

Throughout the rest of the day I made a few trips to our kitchen to throw items into the oven that never sell on the shelfs. Not only did it keep the browned cornbread stuffed pork pinwheels we made on Friday from going to waste but within 1 hour of putting out the demo we sold our entire tray of fresh pinwheels I made that morning. By putting out product for highly encouraged weekend demos that would have gone to waste instead of using fresh product it is a win, win for everyone.

Vicissitude

I'm sorry,

But this is what I don't want

I don't want your nod of agreement

while your eyes wonder to the floor

I don't want you lack of excuse

paired with lack of response

I don't want the knowledge of the problem

and the absence of action

I don't want to see your eyes grow wide

while your lips are pursed

I don't want to feel even more awkward when I ask you

when I can hear the crickets

I don't know you, your schedule, your cares and worries

I don't think I am any better than you

Truth be told I don't make a difference

The world has transformed very little since I have leant a helping hand

I collect litter that will re-accumulate in no time

I collect litter that will never add up to equal anything

Given that what I am doing is, in the grand scheme, NOTHING

Has me understanding even less as to why your response is always NOTHING